So young, they should be illegal
While several teams are ramping up for a WCHL Cup push this year, there are always a handful of teams who have elected to blow things up and retool their teams for next year.
The Chicago Blackhawks and Dallas Stars have done just that, and while the road might be full of riches long-term, right now it contains nothing but heartache.
"This sucks," said Hawks GM Nick Barretta, watching on as his team got beat 3-1 by the San Jose Sharks last night. "It's for a good reason, we will be good down the road, but man does this team friggin blow right now."
Like a Thai hooker offering a two-for-one coupon, the Hawks indeed do blow, long and hard. Losers of their last ten games, Chicago has mustered a league low 15 points so far this season and are already 19 points out of a playoff berth.
"It's hard to get up for the games," said veteran forward Shawn Horcoff. "In fact, it's hard to get up for anything. My wife was complaining about my erectile dysfunction last night. I can't score on the ice or at home."
An artists rendition of the Blackhawks season thus far
While many fans and pundits felt Chicago was overdue for a rebuild, the Dallas Stars implosion this year caught many by surprise. After former GM Darren Mathieu's left to head north to Winnipeg to take over the Jets, new GM Owen Lin took the helm and immediately made it clear he was doing a full rebuild of the Stars.
The result, a club with the league's lowest winning percentage at just .222 who are scoring at a league worst clip of 2.17 goals per game.
"It's been difficult, but we need to stay the course," opined Lin. "I just know Patrick Eaves and Wotjek Wolski are the answer."
The answer to what is the question. The Stars have a bright future with 10 first round picks in the next five drafts, but until then there is precious little to go on. Only three players in the entire organization under the age of 24 are under contract, with only defenseman Justin Schultz expected to amount to anything from that group.
"This team's play stinks like dirty ass on a hot Alabama afternoon in a swamp. I can't believe I have to wrap up my career playing for this shithole of a team. FML," said 40-year-old blueliner Sean O'Donnell who is tied for the second worst plu-sminus on the squad at -22.
Dallas took a clear directional change when they started their rebuild
Not all teams started the rebuild early. Florida has just begun their rebuild under new GM Jason Dupras, who was hired last week.
"We hope to install a new vision for the future. That will come through the draft," explained Dupras.
That doesn't sit well with everyone.
"I'm tired of the motherf$%^ing rebuilds on this motherf%^&ing team," exclaimed Ray Whitney. "All we ever do is trot some new f%^&ing kids in here and go all bat $h!t crazy over them, then let the f^&*ers go in the motherf&^%ing waiver draft. This is hogcum."
The Panthers salute all 17 of their fans after another loss, 5-3 to Montreal on Monday night.
While several teams are ramping up for a WCHL Cup push this year, there are always a handful of teams who have elected to blow things up and retool their teams for next year.
The Chicago Blackhawks and Dallas Stars have done just that, and while the road might be full of riches long-term, right now it contains nothing but heartache.
"This sucks," said Hawks GM Nick Barretta, watching on as his team got beat 3-1 by the San Jose Sharks last night. "It's for a good reason, we will be good down the road, but man does this team friggin blow right now."
Like a Thai hooker offering a two-for-one coupon, the Hawks indeed do blow, long and hard. Losers of their last ten games, Chicago has mustered a league low 15 points so far this season and are already 19 points out of a playoff berth.
"It's hard to get up for the games," said veteran forward Shawn Horcoff. "In fact, it's hard to get up for anything. My wife was complaining about my erectile dysfunction last night. I can't score on the ice or at home."
An artists rendition of the Blackhawks season thus far
While many fans and pundits felt Chicago was overdue for a rebuild, the Dallas Stars implosion this year caught many by surprise. After former GM Darren Mathieu's left to head north to Winnipeg to take over the Jets, new GM Owen Lin took the helm and immediately made it clear he was doing a full rebuild of the Stars.
The result, a club with the league's lowest winning percentage at just .222 who are scoring at a league worst clip of 2.17 goals per game.
"It's been difficult, but we need to stay the course," opined Lin. "I just know Patrick Eaves and Wotjek Wolski are the answer."
The answer to what is the question. The Stars have a bright future with 10 first round picks in the next five drafts, but until then there is precious little to go on. Only three players in the entire organization under the age of 24 are under contract, with only defenseman Justin Schultz expected to amount to anything from that group.
"This team's play stinks like dirty ass on a hot Alabama afternoon in a swamp. I can't believe I have to wrap up my career playing for this shithole of a team. FML," said 40-year-old blueliner Sean O'Donnell who is tied for the second worst plu-sminus on the squad at -22.
Dallas took a clear directional change when they started their rebuild
Not all teams started the rebuild early. Florida has just begun their rebuild under new GM Jason Dupras, who was hired last week.
"We hope to install a new vision for the future. That will come through the draft," explained Dupras.
That doesn't sit well with everyone.
"I'm tired of the motherf$%^ing rebuilds on this motherf%^&ing team," exclaimed Ray Whitney. "All we ever do is trot some new f%^&ing kids in here and go all bat $h!t crazy over them, then let the f^&*ers go in the motherf&^%ing waiver draft. This is hogcum."
The Panthers salute all 17 of their fans after another loss, 5-3 to Montreal on Monday night.
