Could the Atlanta Thrashers be moving to Winnipeg?
 

While league sources have been tight-lipped, there are rumours the WCHL has come to terms with a group of investors to help salvage the struggling Atlanta Thrashers franchise.
 
Citing a source close to the negotiations, the league is expected to announce the Thrashers will be moving from their southern home to another city. While several options were being considered, such as Las Vegas, Quebec, Kansas City and the Portland, Oregon area, as well as possibly even adding another team in New York or Chicago, it appears the WCHL is returning to Winnipeg.
 
The source declined to be identified as the deal has not been finalized and as such has not been confirmed.
 
Trent Allen, WCHL Commissioner, declined to speculate on the rumour, but did confirm Atlanta has proven to be a hard sell.
 
"I mean come on. This is the second time around in Atlanta. you guys f*%&ed it up the first time, b!*$%ed and moaned until the lague came back, and still don't show up? We have about 14,000 towns across Canada that could draw more fans than Atlanta, so for a rumour like this to come out is not surprising," Allen ranted.
 
While Atlanta team officials originally were claiming incredible numbers through the gates -estimating 20,405 fans per game this season, or nearly 95 per cent capacity- that estimate was shot down last week by a member of the Thrashers front office.
 
"We made that up," said Phil McGroin, Director of Marketing for the Atlanta Thrashers. "A lot of those were give away nights. We even dropped tickets from a Good Year blimp once, and another game was attended by inmates from Folsom Prison on a sort of day parole thing. Even then, we had to tell them Johnny Cash was coming or they would have rather stayed in their cells. They've been in Folsom so long, they didn't know he had died."
 
Tits McGee, the WCHL Ice Girls Management Team Co-ordinator, said it's likely a good thing the team is slated to move.
 

Did you know this is a man?
 
"You ever see women from Atlanta? It's hard enough to get three girls that aren't so badly inbred they can't skate. I think from this years girls team of 14 skaters, we have eight that can't even spell hockey. Five girls' had such bad gingivitis we had to pay them in teeth," said McGee, who later refused to confirm or deny that three members of the Thrashers Ice Girls team were in fact really skinny men who liked to wear their mom's make up.
 

 
It'll be a big deal if the Jets return to Winnipeg
 
 
Allen said a further update would be made on the Thrashers franchise at a better time, so as not to take away from the appeal of the playoff push and the WCHL trade deadline.
 
"It's an exciting time of year, lets keep it that way," Allen said.
 
Allen didn't shy away from labelling Winnipeg as a viable market for the WCHL to return.
 
"I wasn't the A-hole who helped move the Jets to a f^&*ing desert, so you won't catch me saying some bull$h!t about how the league was different back then like that Bettman guy," sad Allen. "The WCHL should never have left here. Winnipeg is awesome. they love hockey, and more importantly they get hockey. They know when to cheer and when not to cheer. They started the whiteout which has since gone around the world as a hockey symbol. This place went ape$h!t for hockey once before, it will again," attested Allen.
 
According to the inside source, the league won't simply move Atlanta to Winnipeg, but rather a third team could be involved. The source was unclear on how that other team would be implicated in the transition if one does happen, however.
 

 
"Us leave? That's unpossible," said Thrashers diet guru Dustin Byfuglien.