Round one features plenty of suspense

 
The Boston Bruins may not be contending for the Cup this season, but the glory they acheived in Season 4 is the goal of every team still playing.
 
With the playoffs set to begin, the pressure will be on a few teams to make big runs again this post-season.
 
Naturally, the Colorado Avalanche will be faced with the task of trying to defend their title, something that has only happened once in WCHL history. Other teams will be tasked as well with trying to put together successful playoff drives, such as the New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers, Calgary Flames and of course, those Sharks.
 
Who will emerge as Season 14 WCHL champions? We are a long way from finding that out, but this first round will go a long way in separating the pretenders from the contenders.
 
The following is my predictions for each of the eight-playoff series in the WCHL, as well as brief predictions for the ACHL.
 
Western Conference
 
(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (8) Columbus Blue Jackets- The Sharks clinched top seed in the Western Conference on the final day of the season, and for that effort they will face a team who has never made the playoffs before in the WCHL, the Columbus Blue Jackets.
 
Antti Niemi Ryan Russell #25 of the Columbus Blue Jackest attacks the net, skating between Douglas Murray #3 and Antti Niemi #31 of the San Jose Sharks at HP Pavilion at San Jose on January 31, 2012 in San Jose, California.
 
What the Blue Jackets will bring is a completely unknown entity, given that they've never been in this place before. They could wilt under the pressure, or look at it from the other direction, that of the mindset that they aren't facing any pressure at all given the season is already a success for just having got this far.
 
San Jose meanwhile needs to get back on track. After several seasons of at least reaching the third round, the Sharks have had some difficulties in recent years. They will be eager to prove they aren't just a great regular season team these days.
 
The Sharks can either make quick work of the Blue Jackets, or they can allow them to hang around. Given the talent differential, there's no reason the Sharks can't roll over Columbus, but they still have to put in the work. Prediction: San Jose in four games.
 
(2) Calgary Flames vs. (7) St. Louis Blues- After going out and landing the biggest fish in the off-season in Marian Gaborik, the sniper is now faced with tangling with the team he won a WCHL championship with.
 
Calgary Flames v St. Louis Blues
 
While Gaborik came to the Blues from the Boston Bruins, he was with the Flames for several seasons before that, including being part of their Season 11 championship season. Gaborik was one of three 40-goal scorers for the Blues, joining Ales Hemsky and Ryan Smyth and will need to carry that success forward into this series.
 
If there's one thing the Flames have, it is firepower. Four players scored at least 40 goals and 100 points, including two 50 goals scorers in Daniel Briere and Steven Stamkos, the latter of which scored 62 goals this season. A total of five players finished with a plus-minus of plus-60 or higher, showing the Flames can make things work at both ends of the ice.
 
The Flames have struggled in the past two playoffs after winning it all in Season 11. If they can find their groove, they should win it all, but that's not a guarantee against the newly revitalized Blues. Prediction: Calgary in six games.
 
(3) Anaheim Ducks vs. (6) Los Angeles Kings- The battle of California is back, but for the first time it will include the Kings and Ducks, two teams they haven't met in the post-season before.
 
For the Ducks, this could be the final season of viewing them as a cup favorite. After a mid-season deal that seen Sidney Crosby heading to Pittsburgh, the Ducks struggled, falling well back of the Flames and Sharks. Their reward is facing a Kings team that is trying to redeem themselves after finishing well out of the playoffs last year.
 
Ducks Kings NetCam
 
To that extent, the Kings landed Tim Thomas at the trade deadline in what could go down as the best trade of the deadline. Thomas is 15-2 since the deal as a King and could be the catalyst to carry the Kings out of the first round.
 
If the Ducks don't get production from their big guns and can't settle down Evgeni Malkin from LA, it could prove to be the capper on what was at one time looking like a great season for Anaheim. Los Angeles in six games.
 
(4) Colorado Avalanche vs. (5) Vancouver Canucks- It's the same story for the Avalanche that dogged past WCHL Cup champions; will they repeat? Outside of the San Jose Sharks- back in Season 3- no WCHL champion has repeated the following year. Pittsburgh came close last year, but lost in the third round. Colorado is just eager to get past round one against what looks to be a very sound opponent.
 
Daniel Sedin #22 and Alex Burrows #14 of the Vancouver Canucks battle Ryan O'Byrne #3 and Semyon Varlamov #1 of the Colorado Avalanche.
 
The fans in Vancouver must still be pinching themselves. After watching their team slump to a 33-point season, the Vancouver Canucks relocated to Winnipeg, only to be replaced by, the Vancouver Canucks. Well, sort of. Rather, it was the Atlanta Thrashers old club coming to Vancouver, immediately stocking Vancouver with a cup caliber roster in the process. Now, instead of looking forward to the draft, like Winnipeg fans are, the Canucks faithful is hoping for a lengthy playoff run.
 
This will be a good test for the Avalanche, but it won't be easy. Even if they get out of the first round, expect them to have to pay for that right, as Vancouver won't go down quietly. Prediction: Colorado in seven games.
 
Eastern Conference
 
(1) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (8) Ottawa Senators- This would be the David and Goliath series of round one, as the Senators, just happy to be in the playoffs, face the Penguins, who have made the final four the past two seasons, including winning it all in Season 12.
 

 
Ottawa will need a big series from Dan Boyle and Cory Schneider in order to make any inroads against the Penguins. Schneider has incredible upside, but it may be a year or two to early to expect a huge upset out of him just yet. Boyle may be the teams leading scorer, but he'll need to more than just put the team on his back to slow down the Penguins juggernaut.
 
Pittsburgh was once viewed as a playoff underachiever, but no more. With six series wins in the past two years, the best record in the regular season, including a league high 65 wins, and entering the playoffs with 13 straight wins, the Penguins could be unstoppable for Ottawa. With six players with at least 90 points, Pittsburgh's offense is well balanced and deep, and is backed by a mobile blueline.
 
This series will be a great learning experience for Ottawa, and could very well prove to be the foundation for a playoff run of their own down the road. But right now, this could also be a really fast series, filled with lopsided scores if Schneider isn't up to the task. Prediction: Pittsburgh in four games.
 
(2) Carolina Hurricanes vs. (7) Buffalo Sabres- While the seedings may be far apart, the two teams only finished seven points apart in the regular season. It's a rebound year for both clubs who missed the post-season last year.
 
Buffalo Sabres eager for playoff spot as they host Carolina Hurricanes - NHL Preview
 
But these Buffalo Sabres aren't the same ones who played most of the season. A series of deals late in the season seen Buffalo land Vincent Lecavalier, Joe Pavelski and Joffrey Lupul, loading up on offensive depth for the playoffs.
 
Carolina meanwhile had some very good numbers offensively, but they will fall back on star netminder Roberto Luongo in the playoffs. Luongo already has one WCHL Cup ring, back in Season 9 with the Dallas Stars and he'd love to add another one. A well-balanced offense that lacks a real star will need to eek out a lot of 4-3 and 3-2 wins in the playoffs.
 
If Buffalo's new star power shines, they could win this series quickly, but slow and steady often wins the race. That said, expect Buffalo to steal a win from Luongo and win a close series. Prediction: Buffalo in seven games.
 
(3) New York Rangers vs. (6) Philadelphia Flyers- Someone will skate away unhappy from this series, more than most. For two teams who have enjoyed a lengthy run as premier teams in the WCHL, one will be guaranteed another season of disappointment by the end of this series.
 
It could be the biggest post-season to date for the Flyers. After almost missing the playoffs last year and falling to land home-ice advantage this season, it has been openly discussed whether or not the club elects to blow things up if they struggle in these playoffs. A first round failure, especially a quick one, could be the catalyst for a lot of big moves from Philadelphia.
 
There's a long history of bad blood between these two teams. Here, The Philadelphia Flyers and Arron Asham tussles with New York Rangers' Aaron Voros on Jan. 21.
 
That's not expected to be the case for the Rangers, but they are just as eager to finally win that WCHL Cup. After reaching the finals in Season 11, the Rangers have taken a step back in the years since, and will be eager to prove they haven't lost a step in the East.
 
In what should be a very spirited battle, the team with the best balance of scoring and goaltending should win out. That figures to be the Rangers. Prediction: New York Rangers in six games.
 
(4) Montreal Canadiens vs. (5) New York Islanders- This could easily be the best series of the first round. Separated by just one point this season, the Islanders will be panting at the chance to get back to the WCHL Cup finals, while the Habs will want to show that their efforts to load up this season were not in vain.
 
Montreal made a huge splash early in the season, landing Kevin Bieska from the Nashville Predators and has gone on to post 112 points and earn home ice advantage in the first round. With three 100-point scorers, a very mobile defense and an emerging great netminder in Jonathan Quick, Montréal has all the right pieces to go for a lengthy run.
 
To do so, they'll need to get through the Islanders, who have posted another good series despite leaving great players like Phil Kessel and Erik Karlsson in the minors all year. Corey Perry and Jarome Iginla posted 50-plusgoal seasons and were joined by Brad Richards in netting over 100 points, so from a firepower perspective the teams are at least evenly matched. Carey Price figures to have the task of shutting down his former team.
 
Habs vs. Islanders
 
In what should be an exciting series, the games should be both close and exciting. Despite some world-class talent in net, expect a few high scores and a close series. Prediction: New York Islanders in seven games.
 
ACHL Predictions:

Western Conference

 
(1) Abbotsford Heat vs. (8) Lake Erie Monsters: Abbotsford in five games.
(2) Chicago Wolves vs. (7) Worchester Sharks: Worchester in six games.
(3) Oklahoma City Barons vs. (6) Springfield Falcons: Springfield in seven games.
(4) Milwaukee Admirals vs. (5) Peoria Rivermen: Milwaukee in five games.
 
Eastern Conference
 
(1) Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins vs. (8) Adirondack Phantoms: Wilkes-Barre/Scranton in four games.
(2) St. John's Icecaps vs. (7) Toronto Marlies: St. John's in six games.
(3) Conneticut Whale vs. (6) Norfolk Admirals: Conneticut in five games.
(4) Albany Devils vs. (5) Bridgeport Sound Tigers: Bridgeport in six games.

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Playoff seeding set

Teams ready for post-season
 

Can Colorado repeat as WCHL champions, or will a new leader emerge?
 
With another season almost complete, the final 16 teams left to battle for the WCHL Cup have been set. All of the matchups are in place as well, minus two in the Western Conference, where the San Jose Sharks and Calgary Flames are still vying for first place. A point by San Jose in it's final game, or a loss of any kind by Calgary, will leave San Jose as the top seed for at least the first three rounds.
 
But the story this year won't be about teams like San Jose and Calgary, who have both won it all before. Rather, the recent trend of the WCHL seems to be which long overdue team will finally get their first title.
 
Perrenial powerhouses in Pittsburgh and Colorado finally overcame the last hurdle and claimed their first trophy in the past two years. Colorado did it in seven games over the New York Islanders, another team which has struggled mightily in the playoffs before finally going on their own run last year. Will we see another push this year?
 
"I damn well hope so," said Philadelphia Flyers GM Doug Van Strephen, who has seen his team post great regular seasons for several years, only to fall short in the playoffs. "It's frustrating watching your team struggle in the post-season, especially year after year. Hopefully this is the year."
 
If it is, it will have to start against another team who is also suffering from failed regular season expectations. The New York Rangers, who have constantly put up 100-plus point seasons in recent years, have also never claimed the WCHL's holy calice. The closest they came was in Season 12, losing in four straight to the Flames in the finals.
 
"That one stung worse than a june bug bite on your nipples," said New York Rangers GM Andrew Don, oddly rubbing his pectorals in a circular motion at the same time. "I view going through the playoffs like holding a winning lottery ticket and everyone knows about it. There's a huge payoff if you can cash it, but everyone wants to kill you on the way."
 

The Rangers-Flyers series figures to leave one team very disappointed following a season of high expectations.
 
Penguins GM Patrick Matthews recalls the relief he felt after winning it all in Season 13, eeking out a 4-3 series win in the finals over the surprising Detroit Red Wings.
 
"It was like being locked up in prison for 10 years with your window looking out on a Victoria Secrets photo shoot and then one day being let out and told 'Do what you want,' recalled Matthews. "I wrecked a lot of chicks that day. I mean wrecked them. They walk like are straddling barrels still. There is no rehab for that. I feel bad now, but I felt damn good then."
 
There is also the story of the after thoughts. The darkhorses. The Cinderella teams that most years find their way through the mess to pull off a few upset and go the distance. This year one of those teams hoping to pull it off is the Ottawa Senators.
 
"We aren't just happy to be here," said Senators GM Noel Harrison. "We want to boot(expletitive deleted) someone and (expletitive deleted) down their throats. We have a common goal to hate everyone on the opposing team, bang their wives and sisters and use their pets for target practice. I have (Patrick) Matthews' (Penguins GM) photo laminated to the inside of my toilet bowl so I can (expletetive deleted) on him daily. It's great motivation.
 

Ottawa has even gone as far as to hire Samuel L Jackson as a motivational speaker for their series against Pittsburgh.
 
Ottawa is hoping to best the Penguins in round one of the playoffs, the first time they have made the post-season.
 
In the West, the Columbus Blue Jackets are also in the post-season for the first time ever and will face either San Jose or Calgary.
 
"We don't care who we face. We want to play the best. You get good that way," explained Serge Niles, Blue Jackets GM. "Besides, they can't be that good. Calgary got upset easily the last two years and the last time San Jose won anything, Taylor Hall didn't have pubes."
 
Hall is expected to be the top pick in the 2010 WCHL Entry Draft, to which San Jose currently holds the top pick, pending the outcome of the lottery draft.
 
In just a few days the games will get going on what should be a great showdown of the upper crust of the WCHL. Will we see a repeat winner of the WCHL CUp for the first time since Season 7, or will a new champion be crowned? Soon, all will start to be revealed.
 

 
Who will capture the holy grail of hockey? Within one month, we should know.

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Deadline Dealings

Preds; Leafs; Blues pull off major trades
 
 
 
Drew Doughty was whispering sweet nothings in buddy Jonathan Quick's ear after hearing he'd been dealt to the Predators. Ondrej Pavalec meanwhile is expected to bring his 'win-at-all-costs' attitude to Toronto.
 
It might have appeared like it was going to be a boring trade deadline, and until the final ten minutes, it was.
 
But out of nowhere, things heated up in a big fashion, especially for the Nashville Predators.
 
It wasn't a surprise the Predators would be actively looking to make a deal, having suffered through yet another long, hard season. But the moves that came were not expected.
 
The first deal seen the Predators finally land Drew Doughty from the Maple Leafs. We say finally, because this was a deal rumoured to have been all but done months ago, only to see the two clubs fall off and eventually go their own seperate ways.
 
The ground work that came from those earlier talks paid off huge yesterday though, as a call from Leafs General Manager Tony Bezdeck saying that Doughty might be in play fueled the discussions once more.
 
"When a guy of this caliber is available, you have to be willing to make the move and go for it," said Predators General manager Trent Allen. "We did and we are pleased to have Drew in the fold. It's tough to pay the price we did, but these guys don't come up very often."
 
Pay the price the Predators did. Going the other way is netminder Ondrej Pavalec, defenseman Dennis Wideman, forwards Rich Peverley and Nick Spaling, along with a 4th round pick. The Predators also received a 3rd in the trade.
 
Toronto could also receive a 2nd round draft pick, if they are unable to resign Wideman after next season.
 

Dennis Wideman was a major piece of the deal for the Toronto Maple Leafs, who wish to keep the blueliner around long-term.
 
But the Predators weren't done there. A second deal came through the pipes quickly, with the St. Louis Blues being on the other side of the deal.
 
Heading to St. Louis is forward Mikkel Boedker and defenseman Alexei Yemelin, with the Predators receiving Viktor Stalberg, Martin Jones, Gabriel Bourque and a 3rd and a 6th in return.
 
 
 
Mikkel Boedker (above) and Viktor Stalberg figure to be the two key pieces of a five player swap between Nashville and St. Louis.
 
While the Predators did receive a solid return, it could be the Blues who walk away with the two best players in the deal if Boedker and Yemelin continue their recent progress.
 
The deals were two of six completed within 24 hours of the trade deadline, with the Predators being involved in four of the six swaps.
 
Now focus will switch to the WCHL Entry Draft, with the first pick expected to take place by the middle of the month. The San Jose Sharks, who own the Winnipeg Jets draft pick, currently stand to have the first overall pick, barring a last minute change in the standing and the outcome of the waiver draft.

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Feeling a draft


GM's ready to add new kids to their blocks

 
 
  
 
While Taylor Hall got a lot of accolades for junior achievements, it's what players will do at the WCHL level that will dictate where they are selected in the 2012 WCHL Entry Draft.
 
With the regular season winding down, it's almost time to start deciding who will be the stars of the future in the WCHL.

A new entry draft format will see player selection begin via e-mail this year, and it is anticipated round one and two will be completed in this manner.

"Every year draft day can stretch into a long drawn out affair," explained Trent Allen, WCHL Commissioner and Nashville Predators General Manager. We average around one hour per round, which means a seven round draft takes seven hours. Add onto that the trades which go down and the assigning of players to teams and it can mean a really long day. This will allow us to spread those efforts out over the first three weeks of the playoffs and mean a shorter draft day itself."

The draft will be done via e-mail until the end of the third round of the playoffs. At that point the draft will freeze, and all remaining rounds will be concluded at the 2012 WCHL Entry Draft convention. A date for the convention has not been set, however it is expected to take place in early June.

"Just like in past drafts, players and draft picks can be traded. The only difference this time is teams won't be able to get players they trade for until after the playoffs are completed due to the trade freeze."

This years' draft will feature players selected in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft. For players such as Taylor Hall, Tyler Seguin and Jeff Skinner, they are expected to take an immediate jump to the professional ranks.

"I'm hoping to go first once again," said Hall, the top pick in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft. "To go first in the WCHL as well would be an honor."

The full draft list, in the order selected during the 2010 NHL Entry Draft, can be viewed here: http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/draft/nhl2010e.html

Due to the fact draft order is based off the combined point totals from Season 13 and Season 14 the official draft order won't be confirmed until the end of the regular season on May 12. Currently, the Winnipeg Jets franchise is set to select first overall, with the San Jose Sharks owning their draft selection. The Nashville Predators would select 2nd overall if the season ended today, but their pick was dealt to the New York Islanders. In total, the Islanders hold seven selections in the first round.

The Toronto Maple Leafs would select third overall, thanks to acquiring the Minnesota Wild's first round selection via trade.

There is plenty of speculation who will go first at this draft. While Hall has played well at the NHL level since being drafted, Skinner rocketed out of nowhere as a rookie to score 31 goals before adding another 20 in an injury shortened sophomore season. Seguin meanwhile netted 67 points this season, including 29 goals, in his second NHL season.

Beyond those three, there are dark horse candidates to capture the honor of being a top selection. Cam Fowler, who dramatically fell in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft, has been a solid performer since then, including a 40 point rookie season in the NHL, while Alexander Burmistrov continues to tantalize with skill as a Winnipeg Jet, even if the results haven't been there. Eric Gudbrandson, the third overall pick in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft, had a solid, though unspectacular, rookie season in the NHL this year with the Florida Panthers.

In total, 16 players selected in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft have already played at least one game in the NHL.

Teams will be given 24 hours to make their selection. Failure to do so would result in the highest draft player still available on the NHL 2010 Entry Draft order would be assigned to their team by default. Teams also have the option of submitting a draft list or drafting instructions to the commissioner if they are unavailable to pick for themselves, allowing the draft to move along at a quicker pace.

"Even if three picks per day get done, we should be done two rounds by the time we freeze the draft after the third round of the playoffs," said Allen.

For teams wanting to submit a draft list or drafting instructions, they can be e-mailed to the commissioner at trentallen1@hotmail.com

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Draft Rankings

Hey guys, here is an updated draft ranking for everyone to look at.  For the new guys, the draft rankings are determined by a team's total points over 2 seasons.  Both season totals are displayed in the pic.  First column of numbers was last year's points, second one, is this year's points so far.  Any team that has a name in brackets, just showing what team they were last season.  eg. Wpg (Van).  Winnipeg was Vancouver last season.  Any questions, give me a shout on MSN or email at kfulmore@mts.net

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Movin' on up

Filling from within
 

Anaheim has a cup win on there resume and, with a .802 winning percentage this season, they could be poised to add another real soon.
 
With three teams suddenly open, normally it'd be another headhunting mission for WCHL Commissioner Trent Allen. Not so this time around, however.
 
"I'm pleased that we anticipate we will be able to fill the positions from within," Allen said, pointing to a trio of Assistant General Manager's who are eager to strap into a WCHL GM chair.
 
Sheetal Khera, Luis Burburito and John McBride, Assistant General Managers with San Jose, Tampa Bay and Winnipeg respectively, all figure to be named as the GM for the open teams, with an announcement possibly coming as soon as tonight or tomorrow.
 
"It'll be nice to get back into the GM chair," said McBride, who was with the WCHL's Detroit Red Wings for two seasons, guding them to the WCHL finals in Season 12 against the Pittsburgh Penguins. "It'd be nice to finish off that WCHL Cup pursuit."
 
Burburito is also a former WCHL GM, managing the Washington Capitals for several years before departing for personal reasons.
 
"We hope to continue this trend of Assistant General Manager's in the WCHL," said Allen. "Getting guys in and letting them learn the ropes is a good idea before handing them a team, as the WCHL can be a complicated league at times if you don't know your stuff."
 
Other GM's seem supportive of the move as well.
 
"I think it's a good idea," admitted St. Louis Blues GM Jesse Funk. "Now Doug (VanStrephen, Philadelphia FLyers GM) can't try and screw new guys over on trade offers."
 
"Me?" asked a startled VanStrephen. "What about Kurt Fulmore (San Jose Sharks GM). That guy makes a killing on new GM's. I tell him he should just give a 1st to some of these teams. He can afford it."
 

Blues GM Jesse Funk delivers a kick to the face of Flyers GM Doug VanStrephen during an argument regarding hiring Assistant General Managers.
 
Not all GM's were on board.
 
"This sucks," said Ryan McClanahan, Colorado Avalanche GM. "Now who am I going to trade all my college scrubs to for a bunch of 4th round picks. I need more, I only have 72 of them over the next five years. I want the whole set, I want all 150 of my precious picks. Yes master, Smeagol loves his picks."
 
 

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More than a C grade

Canes; Coyotes and Columbus first half surprises
 
Mar. 3, 2012; Glendale, AZ, USA; Columbus Blue Jackets center Derick Brassard (16) and Phoenix Coyotes defenseman Michal Rozsival (32) battle for the puck along the boards during the third period at Jobing.com Arena. The Blue Jackets won 5-2.  Mandatory Credit: Matt Kartozian-US PRESSWIRE
 
It's going to be a battle in the second half between the Coyotes and the Blue Jackets
 
It appears long suffering fans in Columbus might have something to cheer about in the second half of the season for once.
 
A perrenial underachiever, the Blue Jackets have risen in the standings this year and are poised to be in the hunt for a playoff spot, a seldom seen feat for the franchise.
 
"I've built a future powerhouse and if we make the playoffs, there's going to be some mayhem. Gongshow style mayhem. It's going to be a travesty for whoever we face," said Columbus GM Serge "ghillie suit" Niles.
 
Motivation has been the key factor, said Niles.
 
"We tell them there's a source of pride here in Columbus. When you pull on that jersey, you are pulling on the B and the J on it. You have to want that, and I'm proud to say every player here wants a BJ," explained Niles. "If we keep this up, that pride will grow and soon, every player in this league will want a BJ too."
 

 
BJ support is even starting to show up on team apparel
 
The Blue Jackets aren't the only team making a run in the standings after struggling the past few years. The Blue Jackets sit 9th in the Western Conference, but are tied with the Phoenix Coyotes for 8th, each team having 40 points. Phoenix has played one less game than Columbus, however.
 
"It's nice to see," said forward John Tavares, the top pick by the Coyotes in the 2009 WCHL Entry Draft. "We've struggled the past few years, but we feel we are turning the corner and moving in the right direction. It really helps to see that progress."
 
"We've got some good things going here," added GM Phin Liew. "We've tried a bunch of different options, but this year it seems waffles in the shape of boobs does the trick. Guys like waffles and boobs, so we combined them. You get an extra waffle for doing something good, like scoring a goal, making a big save, breaking up a two-on-one, that sort of thing. It really motivates the guys. All the time I hear something like "See that boys, I just earned a titty waffle. Woooooooo."
 
It seems to quickly have becom the breakfast of champions in Phoenix, where the Coyotes are 6-3-1 in their last 10 games, and are 8-1-1 in their last 10 at home.
 
"I eat a lot of witty's," admitted Dustin Penner. "They taste better than pancakes for sure and witty's don't hurt my back either."
 

 
Dustin Pennr's days with pancakes are over, as he's found a new love; 'witty's'.
 
In Carolina meanwhile, it's all about finaly having players that don't get traded every 13 seconds.
 
"I actually got to meet some of our players this season," said forward Justin Abdelkader. "I didn't even know Brad Stuart was on this team until this season. I was wondering who that guy was sitting across the dressing room from me. I honestly thought he was the equipment manager who had a fetish for wearing smelly jockstraps."
 
Abdelkader would have a hard time getting to know his teammates, as he's been recalled from and demoted to the ACHL so often he has enough frequent flyer miles to export the entire population of Luxembourg to Canada.
 
"I think I've married three stewardesses accidentally," said Abdelkader. "There's some really messed up laws when flying over international waters. I'm not really sure why (General Manager) Mike (McFarland) makes us fly over the Pacific Ocean when we go from Raleigh to Charolette."
 
While Carolina is still making more moves than John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, it's paying off this season. The Hurricanes are a remarkable 26-10-3 which not only has them in the playoffs, but also leading their division and sitting with the sixth best record in the WCHL.
 
"We've finally done it," exclaimed McFarland, jumping around in a lab coat. "I knew if I traded for, released, signed and then waived every player in the NHL three times, with one of those times under a red moon at midnight in the Burmese jungle, the hockey gods would be appeased and they would show their favor to Carolina."
 
"All hail to Carolina, and their glorious 1,000 year reign. The Hurricanes shall be glorified on this day," McFarland added, before turning around and ripping the heart out of a duck with his bare hands and praising the Hindu god Kali.
 
Kali was the god worshipped in the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. McFarland was stopped before he could throw the duck into a volcano.
 

 
"Kali Ma! Kali Ma!" McFarland screamed, holding the duck heart which he lit on fire during a press conference.

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